Comments on peterwellsblog.: Bisexual

Let's get one thing straight. When you say &qu...

2012-01-31T00:30:09.560-08:00

Let's get one thing straight. When you say "In the early days of gay liberation we believed ... everyone was inherently bisexual", you mean you and your tight-knit circle of friends. Most people didn't believe that, because logically it made no sense, and after all this time, it still logically makes no sense. Where's your apology?

Jenny, I wrote to Pamela Stirling of the Listener ...

2009-12-13T20:56:52.723-08:00

Jenny, I wrote to Pamela Stirling of the Listener offering to write a fuller article on this subject - which I think has so many interesting aspects. No reply. I felt heartened though when I read in the Dom/Post today that Lord Robert Winston, the eminent scientist, said NZ was too obsessed with low wattage celebrities and sports personalities. The latter especially got involved in all sorts of moral dilemmas but were speedily forgiven - even in the courts. In a way, we don't want to look carefully at moral dilemmas, it seems. We want titillation and schadenfreude (sp?)

Just to say I found your piece on Glen Mills and t...

2009-12-10T12:42:46.361-08:00

Just to say I found your piece on Glen Mills and the broader questions it raises very moving. If only we had this kind of deeper analysis, compassionate and reasoned, on our national TV. I find it pernicious that an organ of such power offers people so little enlightenment, as if the slop that is being offered is actually what is important.

It seems to me that denial (self-delusion) is a state that to some degree and in some areas of our lives most of us live in most of the time. One of the most important things we can do is learn to recognize and face up to it.

2009-12-10T12:22:22.793-08:00

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There is a very interesting interview with one of ...

2009-12-02T12:26:09.941-08:00

There is a very interesting interview with one of the young men who had sex with Mills and subsequently tested positive for HIV on gaynz.com
http://www.gaynz.com/articles/publish/36/article_8256.php

One of the things which comes through is how casually this happened but also how deceitful Mills actually was during sex. The young man believed Mills had a condom on. Somehow during sex....the condom vanished or 'broke'.....

Also look out for a think piece by David Herkt on gaynz.com

Oh those poor teenage boys, though. Like you say, ...

2009-11-30T20:46:49.294-08:00

Oh those poor teenage boys, though. Like you say, you don't know what is 'expected' in the real sense of the term, certainly not the irrevocable and long term consequences..

Thanks, Maggie. Subsequently I found out that two ...

2009-11-30T12:17:28.674-08:00

Thanks, Maggie. Subsequently I found out that two of the young men Mills had infected with HIV were seventeen. It seems a terrible act of irresponsibility that an older person would betray the earnest trust of someone so young - young adults basically one year over the age of consent. People who wouldn't necessarily know what is 'expected' sexually, ie the use of condoms as a basic necessity.

Nevertheless I note in this morning's paper that some of the people who were infected by him (horrible term, I can't think of any other one however) mourn his death. In some senses they saw him as a lover. Even someone from Women with HIV said that there was a sense of loss (and relief that people did not have to testify in court, an horrific thought.) She also said that Mills himself lived in a state of personal denial (that he had HIV) and that he did not act with deliberate malevolence. Who knows? Self deception here is not uncommon and probably a human defence.

It is an extraordinarily complicated situation - untidy, sad - and a revealing look at the complexities of contemporary living.

As a heterosexual married woman who has only known...

2009-11-29T20:44:29.799-08:00

As a heterosexual married woman who has only known a handful of gay people- and not anyone who openly identifies as bisexual- I read this without any predetermined opinions and only great interest in your point of view. Thank you for sharing this. The issue of shame can become soul crushing regardless of it's origins. I personally loved the story line of the gay character in Six Feet Under because it explored that concept ( how shame destroys ) so well. I also love Brothers and Sisters :)